I think that I am in love with my boyfriend. We say that we love each other and mean it. We are like best friends, and boyfriend and GF. I just don’t know if I really fell for him or not because, some people say that you can’t have your 1st love as young as we are. I am a mature 14 year old. I just really want to know if people actually can love each other at my age?

Finding someone you can totally relate to and happen to fall in love with isn’t something that can be planned or that suddenly happens at a certain age (like getting a license at 16 or the right to buy booze at 21). You can be 35 and for the first time, meet someone who makes you feel for and care about him or her so very deeply. Or  this could happen when you’re 22, or 14 or even three-years old:

If you feel empathy, heartache, yearning and compassion for your BF; I your heart feels like it’s going to explode when you daydream of  him or when he does something nice for you; If you both treat each other with respect, then yes, you can be legitimately, and totally in love.

Older people can be super skeptical of younger people and their ability to think or feel deeply.  And it’s not that they think younger people are stupid or somehow subhuman. It’s more likely that older people have been kicked around a bit in the love department at some point in their lives. They may have fallen out of love with people they were together with for a long time or have had boyfriends and girlfriends who have cheated on them, for example. Older people can be jaded.  Don’t let their life experiences or suspicious attitudes make you question the validity of your feelings or intensity of your relationship.

If your boyfriend makes you feel amazing by being respectful, compassionate and caring, and you two relate on a really deep level and treat each other well and make one another feel like a super version of yourselves, then don’t doubt the amazing connection you have–revel in it. And be glad that  you found someone that you can connect so strongly with at the age of 14.



Erika Stalder is the author of The Date Book: A Girl’s Guide To Going Out With Someone New and creator of the DEAR ERIKA advice column for ABC Family’s Secret Life of The American Teenager.

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