He’s In The Army Now

Dear Erika,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 15 months. My parents love him, but he just joined the Army. It really scares me that he is going. I just don’t know how to feel, I’m so worried that he is going to write me a letter saying he wants to break up. I have talked to him about it, but i just can’t seem to get rid of this feeling. Any Advice?

It’s tough enough when a long-term boyfriend moves away. But add the harrowing military aspect  into the mix and that move becomes all the more stressful. Even more sucky? Not you, he or I will know what will become of your relationship. Your man is about to embark upon a likely very intense part of his life. He will undergo intense training, he may live in a violent part of the world. And you will be left to live your same life… except without him around.

I know this isn’t exactly a cheerful message, but the reality is, you and your guy are going to have to get through this by navigating as you go. There’s no way to know whether he or you will find someone else or whether your connection with him will grow stronger as you begin to communicate by phone, letter, email, whatever.

The only thing you can do here is make a pact with your guy to handle this situation with respect and class. Before he moves away, talk to him face to face about how difficult things may be to keep the relationship in tact. Promise one another that you’ll tell the truth about your feelings for each other and for other people if they arise–no matter  how hard it is to do. If you tackle this next phase of your relationship with self-respect, respect for him and truthfulness, you’ll have done the best you can (and will have dodged any potential regrets). Love and Luck to you!!




Erika Stalder is the author of The Date Book: A Girl’s Guide To Going Out With Someone New and creator of the DEAR ERIKA advice column for ABC Family’s Secret Life of The American Teenager.

pst: Do you have a burning question? Handle it! Email handlethescandal at pstol dot com

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