WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU AND YOUR BESTIE CRUSH ON THE SAME GUY
Okay I REALLY REALLY like this guy and I know he likes me too because he told me. But I think he likes my friend and I think she likes him too. We’re are all friends and stuff but when we are all together she acts really weird and always wants to be next to him and stuff. I don’t want to lose him or her as friends. So what do I do? Do I just forget about him and move on or do I make a move and if so, how??
OK. So your friend and you are hot for the same guy. And secretly, this guy is probably fantasizing that all three of you are hot for each other, because guys are funny like that. Before you make any moves, talk to your girl friend. Because I can guarantee that if you make a move on this dude without talking to her about how she feels first, you will cause a rift in your friendship. So level with her instead. Tell her you’re crushing on this dude and you think that she is too. She might not be ready to admit it, but by coming at her from an honest place, and asking her to level with you about her feelings too, you’ll be able to cut to the chase about what each of you are feeling when it comes to this guy and what, if anything to do about it.
As long as you stay united with your friend, you should be able to keep the friendship. If she’s not down to level with you or admit her feelings for this guy, then there’s not much you can do about preserving your friendship with her in the long run, especially if she keeps hiding the truth about different things–after all, friends have to be able to be honest with one another, even when it gets uncomfortable. And above all, f you talk to your friend first and decide to make a move on this guy and he reciprocates, keep it classy and don’t go rubbing your flirtation in your girl friend’s face. If this thing turns into a competition of sorts, you want to be a good sport.
Erika Stalder is the author of The Date Book: A Girl’s Guide To Going Out With Someone New and creator of the DEAR ERIKA advice column for ABC Family’s Secret Life of The American Teenager.
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