MY, WHAT SICK EYES YOU HAVE …
… THE BETTER TO SKIP SCHOOL+WORK WITH, MY DEAR!
Spring Break and Caochella have come and gone. The weather has brightened. For all intensive purposes, it may as well be summer.
Well, except for pesky little matters of school and work, that is.
But since it’s FRIDAY. And because as Empiresses, we are normally up on our shit and can afford to take a day off without it derailing our grades and projects, here’s how to play sick and skip out:
Show up to school or work on time with carefully created “sick eyes:” Grab a red liner, shadow or rouge and carefully paint a bit around your eye. Don’t overdo it or you’ll just end up looking goth. Follow that with a few swipes of eye gloss or Vaseline to make your peepers look especially putrid. Leave your lashes and the rest of your face bare.
Run a dry toothbrush over your lips to make them look dry. Skip the hairdo. Wear a sweater. These are very subtle changes, but will make a world of difference when you tell your supervisor or teacher that you’re not feeling so hot, as you wrap your hands around a hot cup of tea for warmth.
Pack lip gloss, eye-makeup remover and your beach gear or museum pass for after you break free–because as Ferris knows, EVERYONE NEEDS A DAY OFF. And you just painted your way to getting an extra.