SHOULD MY BOYFRIEND AND I
BE GOING ON DATES?
My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 14 weeks now and we have never actually gone on a date at all. Is that OK or is that bad?
There are entire fields of study dedicated to figuring out what makes a date these days. So trust me when I tell you that you’re not alone in wondering whether you should “date” your boyfriend–or even trying to pinpoint how to classify a date.
So answer me this: Do you get one-on-one time together with your boyfriend by eating lunch with him at school? Do you pair off when hanging with a posse of friends? Do you study together and get to have alone time that way? Then you’ve essentially been on dates with your boyfriend–they were just packaged as something esle.
If you get to hang out solo with your man and give–and get–affectionate attention in a way that feels satisfying to you, then don’t worry so much about whether you’re going through the motions of traditional dating or not–just enjoy your time together!
If you don’t get to hang out with your boyfriend in a way that creates the space to be lovey toward him–and are craving more of that in your relationship–then make a move. Ask your boyfriend if he wants to meet you lunch at school–somewhere away from your friends. Or see if he wants to catch a movie with you. Essentially, you’ll be asking him out on a date–whether you, he or anyone else wants to call it that or not.
Erika Stalder is the author of The Date Book: A Girl’s Guide To Going Out With Someone New and creator of the DEAR ERIKA advice column for ABC Family’s Secret Life of The American Teenager.
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