HOW TO DEAL POST-BREAKUP
“Ok, how would I get over an ex boyfriend that I went out with for two years”
–Over It, Sort of…
Going through a breakup is the worst. Your chest hurts. You can’t concentrate on regular life things. You feel too much–and it’s all bad. An initial grief stage is vital. But after listening to Beyonce’s Sandcastles on repeat, there are a few things you can do to go from listening to Beyonce’s Sandcastles on repeat to making Irreplaceable your new theme song.
Create Distance: It’s really hard to get over an ex boyfriend when you’re still passing him on campus every day. Think about the ways your ex is still on your life (do you see him with friends? Are you still lab partners?) and make a strategy to create space. If you pass him on your way to class everyday, plan another route. If you work together, request a different shift. Do whatever you can to create the space you need to not be reminded of him and what you used to have together. It may seem sad or harsh to excommunicate him from your life, but it won’t have to be forever. Just until you’ve learned how to live happily without him.
Get Busy: The more activities you have to do, the less time you’ll have to look at old IG pictures of you and your former man. Sign up for that random stitch and bitch session you’ve been thinking about doing. Pick up tennis. Clock extra hours at work. Doing stuff with other people will not only help take your mind off of your former flame, but it’ll get you in the mix with other people, too–maybe even new people to crush on
Figure Out Who Your Friends Are: As if break ups aren’t’ hard enough, sometimes you have to deal with friend fallout, too. If you and your ex share friends, let those friends know about your breakup strategy–that you’re trying to create distance from your ex, and therefore, don’t want to hear stories about him or have him hear stories about you. At least not for awhile. Some “friends” are going to suck and want to stir the shit (“Did you hear that Jake was making out with Heather at Jay’s party?”). Kindly let your friend know that you really don’t want to hear it. If she or he persists, cut ’em out of your life for a bit. Pay attention to which friends are being positive influences and which are being negative. Then cut the negative from your scene.
Let Time Do Its Thing: No matter how great your strategy, these things take time to get over. Remember that and when in doubt, play Beyonce.